So, we finally got it. After all the corporate knife-fighting, the dramatic studio splits, and the kind of legal drama that usually requires a Netflix documentary, ZA/UM dropped their highly anticipated sophomore effort: ZERO PARADES: For Dead Spies. And guess what? It is a big, beautiful, paint-smeared middle finger of a game. It is a work of absolute genius that also deeply, genuinely hates you.
If you expected a cozy, safe, copy-paste clone of Disco Elysium to appease the shareholders, congratulations, you played yourself. Zero Parades is toxic, venomous, and absolutely gorgeous. To steal a phrase from the critics, it is "an act of love, performed hatefully." Let’s talk about why your mental health is about to become a gameplay resource. (Yep, really.)
🕵️ Welcome to Portofiro: The Gilded Trash Can
The game is set in Portofiro, a boarded-up, decaying harbor town caught in a terrifying geopolitical tug-of-war. The vibe? Think retro-espionage meets terminal capitalism. You play as Hershel Wilk (codename: CASCADE), a retired, severely burnt-out spy dragged back to the field to investigate why her former partner and aide (codename: PSEUDOPOD) has gone completely catatonic. Standard spy stuff, right? Wrong.
Portofiro is crawling with factions that will make you want to check your locks:
- La Luz: Neighboring techno-fascists who love neon holographic branding and treating human beings like spreadsheet entries.
- EMTERR: A financial entity whose "stabilization" loans have turned the local economy into a literal dumpster fire.
- The Superbloc: A communist-adjacent faction that sponsors the Opera—the espionage bureau that pays your meager salary.
The writing here doesn't just have teeth; it is a full-blown woodchipper. It treats politics not as a fun background flavor, but as a violent machine grinding everyone to dust. Portofiro is gritty, bitter, and gorgeous. If Disco Elysium was a slow, melancholic cry into a cold beer, Zero Parades is a brick thrown through a high-end luxury shop window.
🍻 Redlining Your Brain: The Stress & Self-Medication Loop
Let’s talk mechanics, because this is where the game gets wonderfully unhinged. Your mental state is governed by three meters: Fatigue, Anxiety, and Delirium. Normally, in games, you want to keep these low. Here? Well...
During difficult skill checks, you can voluntarily choose to redline Hershel's brain. Maxing out her anxiety or delirium lets you roll a third die to force a pass. It is a high-risk, high-reward gamble. But if you push too far and a meter completely fills, CASCADE suffers a mental break, permanently loses a skill point, and gains a massive debuff. No pressure!
How do you cope? Naturally, through absolute self-destruction. You'll spend half your budget buying schnapps and Ouroboros Black cigarettes to keep the demons at bay. Not CASCADE having a full-blown panic attack in an alleyway because she didn't get her hourly dose of nicotine. It's a brilliant, agonizing loop that makes every conversational choice feel like defusing a bomb with a toothpick.
"A big ugly game for a big ugly world."
— The literal back-of-the-box tagline, and they are not lying.
🧠 Your Mind is an Encrypted Group Chat
Just like its predecessor, your skills are active voices inside CASCADE's head, constantly arguing, lying, and offering terrible advice. Meet your new mental roommate committee:
- Shadowplay: Your inner covert operative, whispering how to slip through shadows and slit throats (or just steal a pastry).
- Personalism: Your psychological empathy suite, helping you read people while slowly destroying your own boundaries.
- Entanglement: A metaphysical skill that connects hidden coincidences, occasionally making CASCADE look like a conspiracy theorist with a red-yarn board.
There is also a returned version of the Thought Cabinet called Conditioned Thoughts. For instance, if you internalize the "Jar of Faces" thought, your Personalism skill gets a massive boost—but if you wear any kind of mask or physical disguise, CASCADE suffers a massive penalty because she physically cannot handle having her face obscured. The roleplay restrictions are tight, weird, and absolutely delicious.
⚖️ What Slaps & What Flops
🔥 What Slaps:
- Immaculate Art Direction: Every frame looks like an oil painting that was dragged through an oil slick. It's spectacular.
- Combat and Action That Work: Unlike DE, there are active, high-stakes physical spy sequences that actually feel tense and rewarding without turning the game into a brainless shooter.
- Angry, High-Signal Writing: The dialogue doesn't pull punches. It mocks tech-utopianism, predatory banking, and nostalgia with equal venom.
🚩 What Flops:
- The Wardrobe Exploit: CASCADE's wardrobe is so full of stat-modifying coats and glasses that you can basically change your clothes mid-conversation to cheese every single skill check. A bit mid, honestly.
- A Muddled Second Half: Around the midway point, a massive plot twist kicks the game into high gear, but it completely sidelines amazing supporting characters like ESTOC and KINDRED, turning them into narrative props.
⚙️ Settings You Should Low-Key Change
Pro tip: Before you start CASCADE's self-destructive odyssey, do yourself a favor and adjust these settings:
- Text Size: Crank it up. There are over 1.2 million words here. Don't squint your way into a real-life delirium debuff.
- Screen Shake: Turn it down or off. When CASCADE's Delirium spikes, the screen gets incredibly chaotic. Your inner ear will thank you.
- Real Schnapps: Keep it away from your desk. Let CASCADE do the drinking for both of you.
🎬 The Verdict: Is It Giving or Is It Mid?
Look, the drama surrounding ZA/UM's split was messy. Some fans wanted this game to fail on principle. But Zero Parades: For Dead Spies is too brilliant, too angry, and too deeply felt to be ignored. It doesn't have the gentle, bittersweet warmth of Disco Elysium—it is colder, sharper, and deeply cynical. But it is an absolute masterpiece of roleplaying design anyway.
If you love narrative games that treat you like an intelligent adult (who probably needs therapy), this is a mandatory buy.
Verdict: A certified, toxic, beautiful classic. Buy it immediately and let the internal screaming begin.
Image Credit: Official ZA/UM Storefront Key Art / Steam Capsule Assets. Source Link: Steam Storefront